My struggle with weight loss started because of comments my mother would make about my size and eating habits when I was a very young teen. To the disappointment of my mother, I never became one of the cool skinny girls in school.
As an adult, I continued to gain weight — eventually tipping the scale at 210 pounds.
It wasn’t always how I looked that bothered me — it was more the physical pain and health issues that accompanied my large size. I was constantly inundated with trips to the doctor’s office — to get looked at for everything from knee and back pain to chest pains to being constantly short of breath to severe insomnia.
Desperate to feel better, I suffered through countless diets, where I:
- te food that tasted like cardboard
- Took dangerous and expensive prescription medicines
- Forced down diet pills that made my heart race
- Even starved myself for days on end, so wanting for something to happen
But they never worked. Every time I would stop dieting, the weight would pile back on — and then some.
Heartbreakingly, I eventually gave up trying and resigned to being overweight for the rest of my life.
…until a random visit to my family doctor turned my life upside down.
It was a Monday morning.
I had been feeling nauseous for the second day in a row.
My husband wanted to get me to the doctor to see what was wrong.
After 40 minutes in the waiting room the nurse came and got me. She took my weight (the WORST part of a visit to the Doctor for an overweight girl like me) and got me ready to see Dr. Larimer.
After a few minutes of basic questions he ruled out the common offenders and asked me to take a pregnancy test (anyone else not like peeing on a stick?).
I could see on Dr. Larimer’s face, minutes later when he reentered the room, that something wasn’t right. I immediately began to feel nervous.
“Meghan, Congratulations, it looks like you’re going to be a mother”, he began.
My mind began to race and I felt what could only be described as wonder and joy.
But, what happened next would send me plummeting into a spiral of fear that would change my life forever.
“But, I’m concerned”, he continued, “that if you don’t lose your excess weight, there’s a strong chance you are going to lose your child”.
Suddenly I felt like I needed to swallow but I couldn’t and my heart started pounding.
No longer was my weight problem something I could ignore. I may lose my first child because of my weight? I hadn’t considered that as even a possibility.
In that moment, reality hit me like a ton of bricks. I took a deep breath and when I exhaled, the tears started flowing.